When I wrote this article, I had a little trouble understanding what the term “emotionally available” really means. Luckily for me, when I went for coffee, the café was crowded and two ladies asked if they could sit at my table.
I didn’t wait long. I explained that I write a blog and had come across the term, I wanted to ask them what it meant to them. The lady replied what she thought it meant. She told me she was over 50 and was here with her daughter who is 27 and I would probably get two different answers.
She thinks it is simplistic and ultimately means that a man is emotionally available to want to f***k her more than just once. The younger girl added that she thinks society’s expectations of men are not good.
The 27-year-old also thinks that what her mum said is the ultimate and real answer. However, she thinks it is important for a man to dare to show his feelings. That if there is a problem, it is okay to cry. She thinks it’s not a problem at all if a man cries.
Which applies to both sexes, but it is not necessary to be perfect in everything, all the time.
She also said that, of course, both women and men encounter problems that they cannot solve. She thinks it is not at all a problem for a man to take it up. It is not necessary for a man to always be strong and decisive in everything.
She added that it is certainly not about being incompetent. Which applies to both sexes, but it is not necessary to be perfect in everything, all the time. The mother added that 20 years ago this was a completely impossible idea.
Back then a man was expected to have the toughness of the military. She hopes that it is a good thing that these ideas can be raised. He believes that it is in the upbringing of a family that a man’s ability to own up to his emotions is decided.
Greg Matos has published an article in Psychology Today in which he writes that young and middle-aged men are more lonely today than ever before.
In the article, he writes that “I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45, and it shows a preference for men who are emotionally available, well communicated and have similar values.”
With dating apps and a drastically changing relationship landscape, the options for heterosexual men are dwindling. Men need to address their lack of certain skills in order to meet healthier relationship expectations.
Currently, young and middle-aged men are the loneliest. In recent decades, they have become part of a growing group of permanently single men. It’s true that you don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy, but statistics show that men in relationships tend to be happier and healthier.
The psychologist believes…
The psychologist believes that these are the values that are missing in today’s young men, and the reason is that they are not learning these skills at home.
Dr Matos believes that men would also benefit from going to therapy, where they would have the opportunity to understand their own inner world and ideas. It would be an opportunity to heal generational trauma and develop romantic and inquiring attitudes.
It is important for men to appreciate their own inner world. Respect their ideas in order to communicate them effectively.
Intimacy and romance and emotional connection must be worthy of the time and effort that is put into it.